In the beginning there was a little boy. He wasn't very smart, he wasn't anything close to normal in appearance, he wasn't particularly athletic (in fact he kind of sucked at everything he ever did), he wasn't remotely fucking normal and, well, in summation he was different. He never had very many friends, he was called names, beaten with everything from fists & feet to rocks & sticks, spat on, called names, belittled, embarrassed & put down every chance the world got...because he kind of deserved it! I mean, he was dirt, shit, scum, filth, nothing. He always knew he was different, always felt different than others. He learnt to smile, learnt to laugh, learnt to pretend to care about a lot of things that other people care about because it was just easier than always being the odd one out. But in his heart, he always knew that he wasn't like the others. I mean, he wasn't special, he was dirt. He knew he was broken inside, missing vital pieces that make people people. Important parts that he didn't have, that made him think different and feel different and because of that made him behave different. He always felt so sad inside, such deep sorrow. He never truly understood man's world. Never understood why people feel what they feel or do what they do. He was always confused and lost and sad and broken. The only thing he was ever sure of was that he was always meant to be nothing.
One day he woke up and he was a grown man. He was no better off. He'd had had a string of shit jobs, fumbled his way through school and college and a degree, had a series of dysfunctional relationships (surprise surprise)and had made a long list of fucked up choices and atrocious failures in life. All in all he was a disappointment to himself, to society but most of all to his family. He was still dirt, still scum, still shit, still nothing...in fact in all those years from aged 4 to age 25 the only thing he had truly learnt was that maybe some of us are just supposed to be broken. Maybe some of us are supposed to die young or kill ourselves. Maybe we're just another extension of natural selection.
So that's pretty much where we are today. I mean yeah, there's plenty of things that happened between then and now but to waste precious time distracting ourselves with these details would be to detour from the end result, the present. So, let the show begin...
