Dear Fukwad

So as usual your downstairs drunk blaming me for all the retarded shit u did while drunk through out the week. I hope you realise it takes every ounce of mental strength I have not to snap your face down into the floor & then club you to death using my fist as a fukn hammer. You are without a doubt the most obnoxious, dillusional, controlling, bullying cunt ive ever met in my life & every time I put my foot up some shit heads ass or bounce their face off a wall, or drop them on their head or crush their throat its your face that flashes in my mind. When you go to sleep every night you should thank me before bedtime for not ensuring that karma finds you for all the horrible, bullying shit youve done through out your 56yrs on the planet.

Sleep tight
xx

Dear God,

I understand what I'm supposed to do. I know that Im not supposed to be here & I'm trying my hardest to go home but I just dont understand why you cant make me stronger, help push me closer, help me be free. I believe in you. Why cant you believe in me? Seems a bit hypocritical dont you think.

The real riddle is, "How do you let all the darkness out?" Answer?

Sincerely,
Your Greatest Fuck Up
xx

Failure to Launch

So the belt pulled tight but I didnt have what it takes this time. I dont know if its cause i didnt want my dad finding me or because I couldnt get hold of him to check what time the plumber was coming (thats right itd suck to be a plumber who arrives at a suicide scene) or if its cause I was worried about surviving and having to live with the stigma forever (and possibly talking like barny out of the simpsons due to brain damage).

I dont think hangings the way to go to be honest. Ive thought a lot and read a lot and it seems a high chance of going wronng & surviving...& just being an even more fucked up version of me. I think realistically I need to either jump off of something really really really high (to make sure i dnt get to spend the following 50years in a nappi & wheelchair) or put a bullet through my heart & bleed out (seems a better idea than threw the brain & once again surviving as a fukcwit forever).

Im reading a lot about other options & it'd be really appreciated if you have any suggestions. Realistic ones...if u write some spastic piss taking shit I will not be impressed. Im asking for help here. To do things properly & just the once.

Thank you