So the belt pulled tight but I didnt have what it takes this time. I dont know if its cause i didnt want my dad finding me or because I couldnt get hold of him to check what time the plumber was coming (thats right itd suck to be a plumber who arrives at a suicide scene) or if its cause I was worried about surviving and having to live with the stigma forever (and possibly talking like barny out of the simpsons due to brain damage).
I dont think hangings the way to go to be honest. Ive thought a lot and read a lot and it seems a high chance of going wronng & surviving...& just being an even more fucked up version of me. I think realistically I need to either jump off of something really really really high (to make sure i dnt get to spend the following 50years in a nappi & wheelchair) or put a bullet through my heart & bleed out (seems a better idea than threw the brain & once again surviving as a fukcwit forever).
Im reading a lot about other options & it'd be really appreciated if you have any suggestions. Realistic ones...if u write some spastic piss taking shit I will not be impressed. Im asking for help here. To do things properly & just the once.
Thank you
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